THE ONLY RESOURCE YOU’LL NEED FOR FIGURING OUT HOW TO WRITE WEDDING VOWS
You’re here because you need to know how to write wedding vows. Well, congratulations, friend, because after reading this blog, you’ll be ready!!!
So you made the decision for you and your partner to write your own wedding vows, but now you’re stuck and need some help. It might seem like an overwhelming task, but writing your own wedding vows is so worth the effort. It’s a chance for you to tell your partner your version of your story. Vows are also great keepsakes to print out and frame so you can look back at them. Every little moment, every argument, every day and night that has passed by in your relationship has brought you to this very moment of writing your wedding vows. You are the keeper of what will be going into these vows, so don’t give up too fast. Everything you’ll be putting into your vows, you already know. You just need some guidance and encouragement. Once you are done reading this article, you are going to be ready to write your own wedding vows. I lay out tips for brainstorming, tips on what to include and what not to include, how long your wedding vows should be, ideas for what to do with your vows once they are written (no, keeping them on your phone is not a good idea), and for those who are really stuck, there is a template you can use to make your own wedding vows. Let’s get started, I am going to teach you how to write wedding vows!
GENERAL TIPS FOR HOW TO WRITE WEDDING VOWS
- Do not wait to write your wedding vows the night before. You see it in movies, some people might even be up for the challenge and do it in real life, but trust us, do not do this. If you’re reading this article, you’re not someone who can write wedding vows the night before their wedding.
- Start the process now. If your wedding is a year and a half from now, that’s great, still, start now. A great tip is to keep your phone or a notepad with you 24/7 and jot down ideas when they come to mind. There will be moments while spending time with your partner that will spark an idea for your vows, and you’ll want to have it written down to refer back to later once you’re ready to start writing them out. The more ideas you have, the easier it’ll be for you.
- Stay true to your personality. Your wedding vows don’t have to be any certain way, they don’t have to be funny, or romantic. Let your wedding vows be a reflection of who you are and the relationship you and your partner have built together. For the funny stand up comedian, yea, his vows will probably be humor driven, but for someone who doesn’t have a funny bone in their body, it might be really hard for them to try to think of something funny to put in their vows, so don’t force it. Stick to who you are as a person, and think about what it is that you want to promise for your relationship, and to your partner.
WHAT TO INCLUDE AND WHAT NOT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR WEDDING VOWS
Focus on what you want to promise to your partner. It can be anything. And remember, no two relationships are the same, so what you want to promise might never even cross the mind of someone else. If you do decide to add something funny to your vows, keep this in mind, do not say anything that could hurt your partner’s feelings. One thing that could help figure this out, is when did the incident happen, is it too soon to talk about that specific situation? Maybe leave it out of your wedding vows if so.
Some ideas of things to include in your wedding vows:
Do you two have a song that you both love and it reminds you of each other? You could read a song lyric from it.
Is there anything that the two of you do when it’s just you two? Any games, gestures, or hand things? It’s hard to explain this but if you two have a thing, you’ll know it and will be able to talk about it.
Reciting your vows doesn’t have to be just reading from paper. Bring a printout of photos to show your partner.
HOW LONG SHOULD YOUR WEDDING VOWS BE
Keep it around 2-4 minutes. You want your partner to be able to remember each part of the vows you’ve written, and if they’re too long, your partner will miss the main points.
WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR WEDDING VOWS AFTER YOU’VE WRITTEN THEM
Now that you have your wedding vows written, think about how you want to recite them during your ceremony. You have a few options.
Okay, here’s the thing about saying you’ll remember your vows on your wedding day. When you say you’re going to remember your vows, and not bring some kind of hard copy of them to your ceremony for backup, you’re taking the risk of skipping sections, or even worse completely forgetting everything you wrote. Don’t take all the hard work you’ve done so far and put it to chance. Okay, okay, so you say you won’t forget, but what if you do? What if you get so many butterflies and all these new emotions you’ve never felt before, and just completely forget what you were going to say. It is your wedding day afterall, there is a huge chance you won’t be able to remember everything you wrote down. Then you’re stuck standing there, with a perfectly amazing wedding vow that YOU wrote, not with you, and you can’t recite them because you can’t remember what you wrote. Wouldn’t that be terrible? That you have promises you want to make to your partner on your wedding day, but you can’t promise them because you messed up by saying you’d remember them? Leave it to the experts who have been to a handful of weddings, you do not want to try and remember your vows. I’ve seen it happen before, and it ends up bad every single time.
What about reading your vows straight off of your phone?
We’ll admit, we both did this. When we (Alex and Kelly) eloped, (read all about our elopement story here) we planned our elopement in three days and there just simply wasn’t time to have our vows printed on stationary. Looking back, I’m surprised I didn’t even write them down on paper? Because there are so many things that could happen to your phone, or just happen cause that’s life, that could prevent you from accessing your vows that you have stored on your cell phone. You could forget your phone, drop it in water, forget to charge it, it could randomly stop working. You’re putting a lot of trust and faith into a technical device that is known to fail all the time. Don’t leave your beautifully written wedding vows on a phone and hope that you’ll be able to access them when it’s time for your ceremony. Not only is it a bad idea to trust your phone to keep your vows safely kept, they just don’t look great in photos. Cell phones are not something that’s timeless, and won’t keep your wedding pictures looking timeless either. When you look back at your wedding photos, you don’t want to see an Apple iPhone in the picture of you reading your wedding vows.
After you’ve written your vows, you’ll want to be able to bring them with you to the ceremony in an easy way. I suggest working with a professional on this. They will be able to guide you and give you ideas for what fits your situation the best. I love the idea of getting a personalized vow booklet made with blank pages, so you can write your vows in the booklet yourself. There are a ton of ways to do this! Below is a list of professionals who specialize in creating keepsakes for wedding vows.
TEMPLATE FOR WRITING YOUR WEDDING VOWS
Your partner’s name,
The first time you met
In the first section, talk about the time when you two first met. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Next, talk about how long you two have been together.
For couples who have been with their partner for a shorter amount of time:
If you haven’t been together for a long period, talk about this but mention the reasons why you’re deciding to get married after only being together for a short time. The old saying, “when you know, you know” could definitely be used here.
For couples who have been with their partner for a longer amount of time:
If you’ve been together for a long time, mention how long and talk about all the ups and downs you two have been through. Maybe there have been career changes, moving states, new members of the family, anything significant that you two have been through, mention these in your vows and make it apparent that you’re grateful for it all.
For couples who have kids:
Get personal. If you two have kids, talk about them and your family. Talk about what it’s been like raising little ones with your partner by your side. If you two plan on having more children, talk about that. If you two have fur babies, talk about them and talk about what you think of when you think of your partner and your fur babies.
For couples who have pets:
If you two have pets (especially if you plan on including your dog in your wedding), talk about them and talk about what you think of when you think of your partner and your pets. If you’re anything like me (Kelly), you’ll want to include a vow about always being allowed to adopt or foster dogs 😊
Talk about your and your partner’s personality, and how you two work well together.
Your partner’s personality:
What traits did you notice right away? What traits did you learn later on in your relationship? Telling a story that shows their personality is a great way to show your love for your partner.
Also, talk about your personality and how it ties into your relationship. An example could be if you’re the type of person to be really indecisive, and your partner is really great at helping you think through decisions.
SECTION 5 – LAST SECTION
The easy stuff:
Next, talk about what you’re going to promise to your partner. When you’re making your promises, think about what you would want your partner to be promising to you. Think back to conversations you two have had when talking about what you love about the other person. An example could be, if your partner is really good at listening to you, you could promise that you will never take that trait of theirs for granted.
The hard stuff:
No marriage is perfect, and every marriage goes through hard times. In the traditional wedding vows it goes, “through better or worse”, take this line and spice it up a bit, make it your own (or don’t and just use those 4 words as is). No marriage vow is complete without acknowledging that you’ll go through tough times.
Finish your vows with something short and sweet. Some ideas are below:
Remember, there are no two humans that are the same, meaning no two couples and no two relationships could be or are the same. Let your imagination run wild when it comes to writing your vows. If you have an idea that’s never been done before, don’t be afraid to do it! These are all just suggestions on how to write wedding vows, but remember, you already have all the words and ideas in your brain. You are the only one who knows your relationship. Use this article as a guide, and let me know how your vows turn out. I would love to hear from you!